Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Laugh till your stomach pains..

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This
is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the
UPSC(IAS) Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the
Indian cow: Indian Cow

    HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
    And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is
    got child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
    But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are
    afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk.
    Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have
    any such attachment]

    What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
    condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
    and mankind generally... His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
    species, Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees,
    plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and
    drying in the sun.

    Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
    afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of
    the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only
    attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is
    got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the
    weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly
    proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated
    in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
    other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies
    which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.

    The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is
    not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground
    and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This
    is the cow.......

    We are informed that the candidate passed the exam, and is now an IAS,
    is bihar in somewhere..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]

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